The Blessed Day (Rescue Rangers)

[ksharbaugh]

-Chapter Six continued...

The shanghaied ship came slamming into the ground hard enough to lift the mouse, bat and cloaked alien right off their feet. Under the circumstances, all three suspended their stalking and awaited whatever was to come next, though Raven and Fangs had less of an idea of what that might be than their prey who, in anticipation of the bachelor party’s emergence, set his weapon to freeze... he wasn’t taking the chance that his hostages would escape a second time.

No sooner had the hatch opened than Colette leapt out. “Earth!” she cried as she clutched at the ground, her tail flailing about joyously. The rest of the bachelor party wasn’t far behind and soon all had exited the vessel.

The alien criminal deactivated his cloaking field and emerged from the bushes. “No more tricks!” he commanded, taking aim at the assembled group before him.

“Says who?!” Raven yelled as she and Fangs jumped him. Their effort to subdue the alien was not quite as successful as they’d hoped as he was quickly able to shake off the both of them. Before the young mouse could right herself and make another lunge she found herself in the cross hairs of his weapon. Raven’s fear, what little the teen actually had, dissipated as quickly as the energy beam upon hitting her.

Being unaware that the youth’s cloak made her immune to a broad range of weaponry, the criminal was left wondering why the mouse didn’t have icicles dangling from her nose. He looked closely at the emitter crystal at the end of the weapon assuming that maybe there was something physically wrong with the device itself. In fact, he was so wrapped up in his concern for his malfunctioning weapon that he was unaware that the authorities had arrived.

“FREEZE!!” Officer Ybrik shouted.

The sudden noise so stunned the alien criminal that he inadvertently pulled the trigger... and froze himself.

“Heh-HEH-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh, hoo!” Gunther cackled in amusement.

Noodlum turned to his partner, “Why can’t more crooks be that considerate?”

Replacing his sidearm in his holster, Ybrik addressed the assembled locals, “We’ll have to ask for all of you to return with us to the station to provide statements, you are all witnesses after all. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours.”

“Hours?!” Chip exclaimed.

“If you’ll excuse me, lads,” Darby began, stepping forward, “I believe diplomatic immunity would preclude hauling me back to ‘the station’.”

“How do you figure?” Ybrik inquired.

“I am Darby Spree, King of the Leprechauns,” the monarch replied proudly.

Ybrik turned to his partner for verification, “Noodlum?”

“I’m checking,” the other officer mumbled as he checked a portable database, “Let’s see... Leprechauns... hereditary monarchy... current monarch: Darby Spree. Yep, he checks out.”

“Sorry for the inconvenience, your majesty,” Ybrik offered, “Now, the rest of you-”

“Are me royal entourage,” Darby interrupted.

“I beg your pardon?”

“What kind of King travels without his bodyguards and advisors?” Darby asked rhetorically, motioning to the bachelor party, then, pulling Colette over with an arm around her waist, added, “Not to mention me lovely consort.”

“Eeeewww!” the squirrel blurted out in disgust. Receiving a discreet jab from Chip, she amended with a forced smile, “I mean, you betcha!”

“What do you think?” Ybrik asked his partner.

“I think my wife’ll have my head if I’m late for dinner again,” Noodlum replied.

“Very well then,” Ybrik nodded to Darby and ‘his people’, “We won’t take up any more of your time.”

After the alien officers had stowed their prisoner and had departed with the stolen vessel in tow, Chip turned to his Irish guest, “That was some quick thinking- um, Darby?”

“Looks like he already split,” Dale commented, noting the leprechaun’s absence.

“That’s probably what we should be doing!” Monty pointed out.

“Right!” Chip declared as he broke into a run, “We’ve got a wedding to get to!”

“Aw, but I wanted that pot of gold,” Bob complained as he followed.

Dale tried to console him, “Trust me, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

Guests had already taken their seats within the open-air chapel just inside the edge of the forest when more sensitive ears detected frantic scampering in the distance. The sanctuary in which they waited was ringed by interlocking trellises gayly bedecked with flowers and streamers which meant the only clear line of sight was through the archway in the rear where the bride was to enter. The curious turned about in hopes of catching sight of the whoever it was, if they happened to pass that way. They were not disappointed... well, not entirely. The blur that tore past wasn’t visible long enough to make out much in the way of details, though at the very least it appeared to be a dark brown mouse on all fours.

“What’s he wearing?” someone asked, “A cape?”

“I think that was the bride’s daughter,” another supposed.

Indeed, it was Raven that had zoomed past. The groom’s tent had been reached first as it was closest along the path of travel, leaving her to sprint the last few feet to the bridal tent alone.

“That sounds like our missing bridesmaid now,” Foxglove noted as her ears twitched.

Soon the other ladies within the bridal tent heard the distinctive pattering of four paws on slightly dewy grass... which culminated in an odd ‘slushing’ sound. All eyes were on the entrance when Raven went sailing by on her stomach, pawing frantically at the ground. They would have heard the girl bemoan in the most graphic vulgarity having lost her footing had they not broken out into raucous laughter at the expression they’d seen on her face as she passed.

“Chip’s here!” Raven exclaimed once she finally made it into the tent, “No need to kill him.”

“I’m not going to kill him,” Dee chuckled, “I’m going to marry him.” Raven stared in horror at the implication. “Not in the vengeful ‘I’ll make him wish he was dead’ way,” she reassured her daughter, “I just assumed the bachelor party ran long.” After a pause, Dee added conspiratorially, “By the way, you owe me details.”

“I’d have better details if Fangs and I hadn’t followed that stupid Trojan cake of yours,” Raven groused as she frantically dressed. Dee and the others who had been at the bachelorette party couldn’t help but break into a fit of poorly concealed giggles as they remembered the previous night. “Yeah, laugh it up,” the teen replied sarcastically, straightening out her dress, “You weren’t the ones who spent hours lurking through the underbrush trying to find ‘the invisible man’!”

The giggles were suddenly replaced by confused stares. The girl’s response seemed a little too quick to be made up, but seemed a little too odd to be taken seriously. “Like I said, you owe me details,” Dee reminded her daughter as they left to take their places.

“Alien abduction?” Tammy calmly inquired of her friend.

“Oh yeah,” Raven nodded assuredly.

Tammy turned to Terry, “I believe you owe me a drink.”

Stragglers from the bachelor party trickled into the chapel as the persons of honor prepared to take their places. Among the stragglers, a statuesque grey squirrel. Trying to avoid too much attention, particularly from the Groom’s family and friends, she took a seat well in the back. While those around her were looking forward to a wonderful, beautiful ceremony, she was hoping the coming ceremony would be as miserable as the night before had been for her. And it would be, if she had anything to do with it.

-to be concluded...

[ksharbaugh]

Chapter Seven

A wave of murmurs swept over the guests when the bridesmaids and groomsmen were spotted lining up just outside the archway. However, once it was clear the ceremony was finally ready to proceed a polite silence soon prevailed. A couple wolves lumbered closer to the chapel to get a better look as the procession began down the aisle. Side by side the two lines advanced; Dale, the Best Man leading Monty, Zipper, Bob and Fangs while to their right, Gadget, the Maid of Honor led Raven, Terry, Tammy and Foxglove.

When the bridesmaids and groomsmen reached the two tiered altar at the front of the chapel they parted ways and ascended the few steps on the far ends that led them onto the lower platform. The two columns advanced towards one another before coming to a stop just short of the center set of steps that led to the upper platform where Judge Brown had been waiting patiently. Behind the elderly jurist, a safe distance back, stood a tapered white candle that would otherwise adorn a human’s dinner table.

All eyes turned back towards the arch as Chip and his mother entered the chapel next. Mary led the Groom by the arm down the aisle. Many of the friends and family who watched them pass thought that they both seemed prouder than they’d ever remembered seeing them before. Mary released her son when they reached the dais leaving him to ascend the center steps himself while she used the stairs at the far end. Shortly she met back up with her son atop the altar.

A musical fanfare announced the arrival of the final two participants. As a creative rendition of the Wedding March began, Amanda led her daughter down the aisle. Doohickey felt a little odd as it was the first time in nearly a decade and a half that so many people had seen her wearing a dress, but as she gazed up towards her future husband she was reminded that compromise isn’t always such a bad thing. However, the knowledge of what she was going through and how many people she was doing it in front of was still extremely humbling. Despite the dark complexion of her fur, it was clear to quite a few that she was blushing profusely, but she didn’t mind. She would gladly go through worse for the chipmunk that was awaiting her at the altar. If it hadn’t been for him she’d never have discovered she had a sister, been reunited with her daughter or be able to share this day with her mother. Once at the altar mother and daughter parted ways as Dee ascended the steps to stand beside her love while Amanda took the long route to stand to the Bride’s right.

With everyone in place, Judge Brown addressed the assembly, “I would like to thank all of you who came for this solemn occasion. We are gathered here for the purposes of marriage, an institution through which two individuals come together in union. They dedicate themselves to one another, to share the joys and the trials that life will bring their way. But before we proceed to bring this chipmunk and mouse together in matrimony, is there any among those that are gathered here today who has reason why these two should reconsider the commitment they are preparing to make?”

That was just the opening Colette was waiting for. It came a little earlier than she expected, but she did realize that the variety of weddings she had attended was somewhat limited. Though this particular ceremony was new to her, what she was about to do was not... she was certain this would join the number of marriages she’d destroyed before they even had a chance.

“If there is, let him or her speak now,” the Judge continued, before ad libbing, “and be not afraid that the bride is apparently armed.”

Still wearing the red turtleneck she had acquired during the bachelor party, Colette rose from her seat. It was not long before the squirrel had the attention of everyone present. Nearly all who were seated remained so while Chet Maplewood, on the other hand, jumped to his feet upon realizing who it was that dared raise an objection. His wife, Mary, felt all the blood leave her face and silently prayed she could remain standing. As Chip groaned in frustration at Colette’s latest stunt, his bride smirked as she thought, Oh, this aughta’ be rich.

Colette scowled, raising a finger accusingly at Chip. With all the venom she could muster she opened her mouth and declared, “BUUUURRRR-” As the belch continued, Colette’s scowl was replaced by a look of dumbfounded shock. She knew the sound wasn’t originating from her throat, but it certainly seemed to be coming from her... as the stunned expressions from the rest of the wedding guests and participants made clear. Looks of astonishment slowly began to be replaced by looks of amusement and soon laughter began to ripple through the chapel. The impolite sound promptly ceased as soon as Colette covered her mouth, which only further incriminated her. She sank back down into her seat as her face began to match her sweater.

It wasn’t long after she had returned to her seat that Colette heard a familiar voice next to her. “You don’t say, lass,” the individual drawled in his distinctive Irish accent, “you don’t say.”

“You miserable, sneaky-” the furious squirrel snarled as she proceeded to throttle Darby, realizing the leprechaun had sabotaged her sabotage. However, without being able to pinpoint quite when or how the switch occurred, she found herself strangling an inanimate troll doll. That’s when she noticed the people sitting in front of her had turned back around to see what she was up to this time. As redness returned to her face, Colette unhanded the doll and attempted to cover her face as demurely as possible.

Chip and Dee tried desperately to maintain their composure as Judge Brown resumed the ceremony. To his credit, he avoided making mention of the ‘incident’ in hopes of returning some measure of solemnity to the occasion, “As there are no objections...” Turning to Chip, he continued, “Do you, Chip Maplewood, take this mouse to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, through safety or peril, till death do you part?”

The chipmunk gazed upon his beloved... which was a mistake. As they exchanged that gaze they both realized they were thinking the same thing. The pair looked like a couple of grade school troublemakers attempting to hide the fact they were the ones who had placed the pin on the teacher’s chair as they tried in vain to conceal their snickering. The harder they tried the worse they got. As their effort to hide their snorting and snickering brought tears to their eyes, the juvenile giggle fit spread to the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Soon the ridiculous contagion spread to others in the chapel.

“Alright, Chip,” Romulus chimed in playfully, “Just belch your vow and get it over with.” A peel of laughter tore through the chapel as the rest of the guests finally realized what had been running through the Bride and Groom’s minds.

Taking a few deep breaths, Chip cleared his mind. He knew he couldn’t afford to think, because he knew as soon as he thought about what he was about to say he’d start laughing again. Through bleary eyes he looked at his bride as he declared, “I do.”

Judge Brown sighed in relief before turning to Dee, “Do you, Doohickey Hawkfeather, take this chipmunk to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and health, through safety or peril, till death do you part?”

Dee fought to hold back memories of what had just occurred. She took a breath, opened her mouth and... Raven blurted out a snort of laughter. In a chain reaction, everyone else at the altar lost their composure, save Judge Brown who merely rolled his eyes. Once the recent bout of silliness passed, Dee cleared her mind and declared, “I do.”

“The rings,” the Judge intoned. Dale produced the ring he’d been carrying and handed it to Chip. “Repeat after me: With this ring I thee wed.”

Chip took Dee’s paw in his and as he slid the ring on her finger repeated, “With this ring I thee wed.”

Dee handed her bouquet to her mother before receiving a ring from Gadget. Taking Chip’s paw in hers, she slid the ring on his finger and recited, “With this ring I thee wed.”

The bride retrieved the bouquet from her mother before Amanda and Mary each lit a candle. These candles, which would otherwise have adorned a human child’s birthday cake, were then handed to their children, Dee once more passing the bouquet to her mother. Judge Brown stood aside as Bride and Groom stepped forward to the tapered candle before them. Chip stopped short and looked to his bride. Dee noticed his hesitation and looked his way. In his left paw he held the lit candle while his right was held out to her. Holding her candle in her right, Dee took Chip’s paw with her left. Paw in paw they stepped forward. Lifting their flames in unison, they set alight the large candle before them. Then each in turn blew out the other’s small candle, leaving only the single flame of their love.

Amanda and Mary stepped up to take the spent candles. At his point the young couple was supposed to step back, allowing Judge Brown to return to his position in the center. Instead, Chip and Dee brought their other paws together and lovingly gazed into each other’s eyes. Not wanting to try to separate them, the jurist simply continued from where he stood, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss one another.” Chip and Dee stepped up and shared their first kiss as a married couple, to the applause and cheers of everyone in attendance. Well, almost everyone... Colette slunk out the back while the others celebrated.

[ksharbaugh]

-Chapter Seven continued...

***

Dale stood before the guests at the reception. “With me giving the Best Man toast, logically it should be humorous and entertaining,” he began in a serious tone, “Yet the wedding itself had the girl in Chip’s past try to disrupt things, only to give the mother of all belches. Then the armed-to-the-teeth-grieving-mother Bride and her stick-in-the-mud-just-the-facts-ma’am Groom have a mutual giggle fit when it’s time for the vows... Now really, how am I supposed to follow that?”

Tammy couldn’t help but chime in, “With a trash bin on wheels and a push broom?”

“Nice try, kid, but I work alone,” Dale countered. “But this isn’t about me,” he continued, “it’s about the obsessive compulsive, detective novel loving rodent who can’t seem to stop hitting me... and the guy she married. They are a good match aren’t they? Their idea of a date is going on a case together. When they first met they rescued a kidnap victim... who, by the way, donated the beverages for this get together- thank you Mr Tanner!” There was a polite round of applause for the beverage distributor. “A year later they get back together and before we know it they’re investigating a museum robbery and a kidnaping. Afterwards we come here for a little R&R and what do these two do? Investigate that belching thing at the Powwow and uncover a plot by Dee’s aunt to poison the city! Frankly I’m amazed we made it through the wedding without their having to investigate an alien abduction!” After the laughter had died down, Dale added knowingly, “And don’t think it couldn’t happen.” Dale took a swig of water before continuing, “But when it’s all said and done, I wish the happy couple well... after all, with the temper these two have, if they had a falling out the survivors would envy the dead!”

It wasn’t long after the wedding feast began that Dale and Monty began recounting the more bizarre aspects of the bachelor party for anyone that was interested. “I don’t believe it!” Cheddarhead Charlie declared.

“But it’s all true!” Dale responded, “You can even ask Raven.”

“Nah, that’s not what I mean, lad,” Cheddarhead began to explain, “What I can’t believe is I missed out on the fun!”

“Well if the girls had grabbed the guy they were supposed to you wouldn’t have,” Dee joined in.

“Who were they after?” Dale inquired.

“Why, they was after Monty!” Chedderhead answered with a laugh, giving his son a hearty slap on the back, “That gal o’ his nearly blew a gasket when I popped outta’ that cake!”

“My gal?” Monty sputtered.

“I think he means Charity, Monty,” Dale clarified.

“I know what he meant, lad,” Monty reassured the chipmunk.

As Monty’s father took over the story telling, the happy couple was approached by some of Chip’s latest in-laws. “Say hae’ to Uncle Chip,” Bob’s wife cooed to her newborn, waving it’s little paw at the newest family member.

“Hello there, little... um,” Chip tried to return.

“Kaitlyn,” the mother informed him.

“Hello there, little Kaitlyn,” Chip offered, “Sorry I didn’t get to meet you earlier, but I was really busy.”

“Yeah, this’ll be the only real time we could meet up,” the mother agreed, “First there was the preparation for the wedding, then you and Dee will be off for your honeymoon.” While the infant was distracted by ‘Uncle’ Dale, who was making faces for her, her mother asked out of her own curiosity, “So, where are the two of you headed, anyhow?”

“We’re going for a tour of European castles,” Chip answered, “starting with the Chateau St Loup.”

“It’s supposedly haunted by the ghost of the Black Prince,” Dee added.

Dale’s ears perked up, “A haunted castle?”

“You’re not coming Dale,” Chip laughed.

“Not even to Hunedoara Castle,” Dee pointed out.

“Hoona-whatsa?” Dale inquired.

“Also known as Castle Dracula,” Chip tauntingly clarified.

As Dale pouted, Kaitlyn’s mother noted, “Not going for the romance aspect, I see.”

Amanda soon showed up to visit some more with her newest granddaughter. She talked a great deal with her daughter and in-laws, much of it focusing on when Chip and Dee would be having kids of their own. They were only interrupted when Gadget showed up, with Monty and Dale in tow.

“Chip, Dee,” Gadget addressed her siblings, “Dale and Monty keep insisting I sound like Linda from Futurama. I don’t think I do, but it’s impossible for me to know for sure due to the resonant conductivity of the skull and-”

“You want us to verify who’s right,” Chip reasoned.

“It’s obvious, we’ll show you,” Dale declared, “Monty, you be Morbo...”

Monty cleared his throat and gave his best imitation of the cartoon’s news monster, “Kittens give Morbo gas.”

Dale then quickly tickled Gadget to elicit a giggle. She giggled... then slugged Dale. No sooner had Gadget done so than she proclaimed, “Golly, Dale I’m sorry!”

“No you’re not,” her mother stated calmly.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t be,” Gadget replied as she thought about it, “Dale, you know you shouldn’t do something like that!”

Dale righted himself, seemingly no worse for wear, “Well how else was I going to get you to giggle?”

“You could’ve asked,” Chip pointed out.

“Aw, where’s the fun in that?” Dale asked, “So, does she sound like Linda?”

Dee shrugged, “Well, if she lowered her voice a bit maybe.”

After most of the guests had eaten their fill, preparations were made for dancing. When all was ready, Chip took his wife by the paw... he was still fascinated by the thought of ‘his wife’... and led her out onto the floor for the first dance. While one of the women from his past had made it a point to be trouble, another had chosen to be far more generous. The female chipmunk, dressed in a blue sequined gown, stood before the band.

“For the couple’s first dance I’ve chosen a song in honor of the handsomest pianist I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with,” Clarice announced, “and the lucky lady he’s given his heart to.” She gave a nod to the band when she was ready. The young couple began to move as the band began to play Brenda Russell’s “Piano in the Dark”. When it was time, Clarice joined in...

“When I find myself watching the time,
I never think about all the funny things you said,
I feel like it’s dead.
Where is it leading me now.

I turn around in the still of the room,
Knowing this is when I’m gonna make my move.
Can’t wait any longer
And I’m feeling stronger, but oh

Just as I walk through the door
I can feel your emotion.
It’s pullin’ me back,
Back to love you.

I know I’m caught up in the middle,
I cry just a little
When I think of letting go.
Oh no, gave up on the riddle.
I cry just a little
When he plays piano in the dark.”

As Clarice continued to sing, Dee laid her head on Chip’s shoulder. “Do you think they’ll have a chipmunk sized piano at the chateau?” she asked quietly.

“If they don’t I’m sure you’ll build one before we leave,” Chip replied with a smile.

Once the couple had their first dance, other couples wasted little time taking to the floor. And those who were still unattached wasted little time in asking a dance from those they fancied. Such was the case of a red squirrel who offered his paw to a certain blond mouse.

“May I have this dance?” William Worthington, Dee’s assistant, inquired.

Gadget blushed a little as she answered, “Well, sure.”

When the time finally came when the newlyweds were to make their exit the young single ladies clustered near the Ranger Wing as Dee prepared to toss the bouquet. “Now, I considered building a device to hurl the bouquet for me,” she explained to the crowd, “But there was the chance something might go horribly wrong and, well, I didn’t want to start things off in my wedded life by mauling someone... unnecessarily. So I’ll do it the old fashioned way.” Turning her back to the crowd, Dee... felt ridiculous. But it was a tradition, so she let it fly.

“What was that?!” several ladies cried out in confusion. They were watching the bouquet intently when a pinkish blur swooped by... and the bouquet was gone! It wasn’t until a smug pink bat landed nearby, clutching the prized arrangement in her teeth, that they realized what had happened.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Tammy complained.

“All’s fair in love and war,” Foxglove countered once she had successfully taken the bouquet with one of her wings, adding as she snuggled up to Dale, “Isn’t that right, cute stuff?”

“Uh, sure,” Dale whimpered nervously, “I guess.”

Dee took a seat beside Chip and started up the engines. Waving to friends and family, the newlyweds took to the air, anxious to start their new life together as husband and wife.

The End