Jokes

[V.Kyrie]

It almost seems like a racist joke... but I've been trying to actually figure out the punchline myself. Can't figure out how or why it'd be funny. o.o

While I'm commenting here, what's a Bellman?: P
~V.Kyrie (:*

[Guest]

Gah, what the quintuple-post?

[Guest]

A raver cought a gold fish and she told him that he had 3 wishes. And he said: "For the first wish I'd like that you move all the people from Asia to Africa." The fish thought it was a strange wish but she did't question it and just granted the wish. "For the second wish I'd like you to move all the people from America to Africa." now the fish was confused but she granted the wish without questions again anyway. "And for the third wish I'd like you to move all the people from Africa to Antarctica." Th e fish granted the wish but now she just couldnt resist and she asked him: "Why the fuck you wished for that?!" and he replied: "Who cares as long as it moves!!!"

Is this supposed to be a joke, because I don't understand what (if anything) is funny about this joke.

In addition, I'm somewhat inclined to agree with Val, this "joke" does seem to have a bit of a racist tone to it.

[Guest]

No its not a rasistic joke and I never said It was funny but I just couldn't remeber any so I looked in a magazin and copyied one from there.
I just wanted to hold on what I said 1 joke per day and if almost noone else post jokes here I must do it. And I must tell you that I'm not a joke goldmine so please send some!

Ok here's another one to replace the last one:

Once apon a time behind a seven green mountains and seven blue rivers and seven deep lackes and seven oak woods lived a monster and it thought: "Shit. I gotta change the adress..."

p.s.:don't blame me if you dont understand it or if you don't find it funny

[V.Kyrie]

We're not blaiming you we were just wondering if it could be explained a bit more.: P

But i guess it's a bit like that joke I once heard when i was little:

What's two plus five?
APPLES!!HAHAHAH.

~V.Kyrie (:*

[Nafruf]

whats the sharpest thing in the world? a fart, because it can cut through two layers of clothing without leaving a trace.

[Guest]

It almost seems like a racist joke... but I've been trying to actually figure out the punchline myself. Can't figure out how or why it'd be funny. o.o

While I'm commenting here, what's a Bellman?: P
~V.Kyrie (:*

One answer is this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Michael_Bellman
Another answer is this post Mon Jun 19, 2006 5:41 pm but its more a joke on the joker (swedes) Instead of our so much lover norway stories where a norwegian is the joke. Example : Why does Norwegians always carry a car door?... so they can roll down the window if it gets to warm

[Guest]

John finished work early so he called home to tell that he'll be there for dinner. A quiet voice answerd the fone:"Hello who's there?!" "Hello swety its dady, can you give me mom on the fone?"said John. She replied: "Sorry can't dady 'couse momy is in the bed with uncle Ben.""But you don't have an uncle Ben...""Yes I do he's up in the bed with mom!" she said. John though for a moment and then said: "Ok swty, go do me a favour and go up to momy and tell her that I just parked my car infront of the house.""ok."she said and went upstairs. "so what happend?" he asked when she returned to the phone. "Momy staarted screaming and runing around untils she triped over a chair and broke her neck and died...""ok.. what happend to uncle Ben then?" he asked scaredly. "o he forgot that you were cleaning the pool and that you emptied it and he jumped thru the window into the pool and now he's dead to...">silence<"em.. you said pool... is this number 333-444-21?!" said John shocked...

p.s. for anyone who is still asking themselves about that raver joke I think the point is in the first word and the last one.

[Guest]

A blond girl saw a girl with brown hair jumping on the rail road and screaming:"44, 44, 44, 44, 44, 44,..." and the blond girl asked if she can join "ok" said the girl with brown hair, and they jumped toghether on the railroad and screamed: "44, 44, 44, 44,...". And then the train came the girl with brown hair jumped off the track in the last moment but the blond girl got runned over by the train and died. After the train was gonne the girl with brown hair returned on the track and started jumping and screaming:"45, 45, 45, 45, 45, 45,..."

p.s.:Blondes don't feel offended...

[Guest]

A sadist (person who likes to see other get hurt), a masochist (person who likes to get hurt), a pyromaniac (a person who likes fire wery much), a zoophile (person who likes to fuck animals), a necrophile (person who likes to fuck dead stuff) and a serial killer (person that likes to kill others) were bored.
And the zoophile suggested: "Lets go catch a cat!"
The sadist said: "Yea lets go catch a cat and torture it!"
Then the serial killer said: "Yea lets go catch a cat and then torture and kill it!"
And the necrophile said: "Yea lets go catch a cat, torture it and kill it and then fuck it!"
Then said the pyromaniac: "Yea lets go catch a cat, torture it, kill it, fuck it and then we'll set it on fire!"
And finaly the masochist said: "Mmmmmeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwww!!!


Edited by V.Kyrie because the kinks needed to be spelt right.@.@;

[Guest]

A sadist (person who likes to see other get hurt), a masochist (person who likes to get hurt), a pyromaniac (a person who likes fire very much), a zoophile (person who likes to fuck animals), a necrophile (person who likes to fuck dead stuff) and a serial killer (person that likes to kill others) were bored.
And the zoophile suggested: "Lets go catch a cat!"
The masochist said: "Yea lets go catch a cat and torture it!"
Then the serial killer said: "Yea lets go catch a cat and then torture and kill it!"
And the necrophile said: "Yea lets go catch a cat, torture it and kill it and then fuck it!"
Then said the pyromaniac: "Yea lets go catch a cat, torture it, kill it, fuck it and then we'll set it on fire!"
And finaly the masochist said: "Mmmmmeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwww!!!

Corrections abound.
In other news, a necrophile would not want to fuck the corpse of the cat..
Unless he was a Zoonecrophile.

Yes, i'm pedantic. Yes, it ruins the joke.
So?

[V.Kyrie]

A slightly funny if tasteless joke and largely inaccurate overall. XD

Miiijjjjaaaw... hehehe... a very interesting spelling I must say.: )
~V.Kyrie (:*

[Guest]

more adherent to how it may sound in italian or slovenian, Ms. V.Kyrie.

[V.Kyrie]

more adherent to how it may sound in italian or slovenian, Ms. V.Kyrie.

Ahhh I wondered where exactly and I was way off.: )
~V.Kyrie (:*

[Guest]

You might be a redneck if...

You have a home that is mobil and 4 cars that arent

If this phrase is ever mentioned in your household "come move this transmission so I can take a bath"

If you were ever accused of lying through your tooth.

If you have the urg to scream 'git r done' atleast once a day

If you think double ot buck shot would stop someones suffering

if you own any double ot buck shot

If your ward robe consists of flanel shirts, jeans and a shotgun