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Jokes

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  • #91
    WOW! A joke thread! I wonder why I didn`t found it earlier. (Focused to much on the CnC area)
    So, I`ve got some jokes, too! I`ve translated them from german into english. If you find any spelling mistakes, you can keep them.

    "Your mother"-jokes:

    - Your mother is so fat...
    ...if she goes to the cinema, she is sitting next to everyone.
    ...if she passes the television, you`ll miss a whole season fo "Lost"
    ...if she is climbing a mountain while wearing a yellow jacket, people are thinking the sun is rising.
    ...she is wearing 20"-rims as earrings
    ...her neck is looking like two hot dogs.
    - Your mother is so ugly, she looked out of the window and got arrested!
    - Your mother is so stupid...
    ...she sells wood in the forest.
    ...she got driven over by a parked car.
    ...she`s sitting on the TV and is watching the couch.
    ...she`s colour-blind and buys a gameboy color
    ...she`s playing CounterStrike with a steering wheel (my favourite )
    - Your mother called: You should come home and comb her back.

    Phew...enough translating. I hope you`ll like this ones.
    IMPORTAND: Don`t tell this jokes to everyone... could get dangerous

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    • #92
      I'll add 1 line to your fat category: She is so fat that small objects orbit around her.

      Now the next joke:
      Two statues are in a park: A statue of a naked man and opposite a statue of a naked woman. And they're standing there for more than 200 years. Than some day an angels pops out and bringes them to life saying: "For being so patient I'm giving you 30 minutes of life; in this time do what you wanted to do all these years." The statues look at each other for a second and than run in the bushes. The angel waits and listens to the moaning coming from the bushes. Than after 15 minutes the statues return, happy and breathy. And the angel says: "well you have another 15 minutes..." so the male statue looks at the female statue and asks: "Shall we do it again?" and she replies: "O yessss! Please! Lets do it!" And than he says: "Ok, but this time we'll swich positions! Now you'll hold the pigeon and I'll shit on its head!"

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