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Cruel & Unusual
Okay I color but I also write, sort of, well I haven't for over a year so forgive me this is something I thought of. Jim is looking a little pudgy so I wrote this story of Sari, Jim, Jo and a cameo of Bella.
Sari is very protective of Jim...okay doc files won't upload
Cruel & Unusual
Jim stares at the bowl of salad with all the venom of a child denied his favorite toys. It is the same watercress and spinach salad he has had for the last three days. It has been this way since Sari, his sweet innocent Sari, saw that program on obesity. She has refused him anything he likes to eat and has even locked the refrigerator with three steel bars. He hates this stuff and right now he is beginning to hate Sari.
All he wants are burgers, burritos and things with cheese all over them. Sari is not being evil just for the sake of it, she is just so scared of losing her Jim because it would certainly destroy her. The problem is that Jo, the sensible voice of reason has gone off to a camera equipment convention with Bella in tow for technical support. Sari right now is all fears and nerves, even love making is not easing the situation.
Jim was trying to hold off when he suddenly wanted a huge cheeseburger with onions and fries by the bucket load. That blew the mood and Sari was certain it was because he too fat. Jim tried to explain but Sari is now fully dedicated to saving Jim. Even if Jim right now doesn’t want or perhaps need saving.
The day before he had found a large pack of his favorite corn chips but was amazed to discover that Sari had replaced them rice cakes. Jim did something very unmale indeed. He burst into tears and threw a temper tantrum that would put any three year old cub to shame. The set for the new film was trashed and Jim is growing to really dislike the feelings it is bring out in him.
Jim growls in frustration and whispers like a bad movie villain, “I won’t be able to stand this for very much longer.”
He finds his phone in a back pocket and speed dials the nearest Mexican place that delivers, “Hiya, this is Jim over at Cats N Cameras can I have a delivery please. Yeah, I want…sorry what?”
He stares at the phone in total disbelief and repeats, “What do you mean, you won’t take my order.”
Sari appears from the kitchen and whispers, “I have called every fast food place that delivers for ten miles. I won’t lose, my cuddle cat, I won’t.”
She starts sobbing uncontrollably and Jim puts his phone down to hold her his hunger forgotten as he says, “Sari, princess, shhhhh!”
She is crying like a busted faucet now, “You gotta lose weight, you just gotta.”
Jim sighs, “Listen girl, I will but we are both carnivores here and you know that. I really need my meat honest, my sweet pudding.”
Sari sighs as well the tears drying quickly as they always do with his special kitten and then she asks, “But how will you lose weight then?”
Jim grins as there is an almost evil idea forming and he states, “I would like to cut a deal, a like for like deal. If I eat say one burrito or something like that I promise to do something to burn off those calories say like…er like…”
She smiles and Jim sees her nod, “We make out for one hour, not the gentle stuff I mean full on all the way stuff.”
Jim grins, “I think I may like this diet, what happens when Jo comes back.”
Sari giggles, “She will cover you for desserts.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Jo sits in the car and groans as Bella bubbles forth about the camera rigs and the tech specs like it was erotic poetry.
Bella sighs, “Look I know this has a huge 24.6 megapixel full frame sensor and a 3 inch high resolution LCD screen but we need a camera able to cope with movement. Now this baby may only have 12 megapixels but it has the 24-70mm f/2.8 N-series lenses and an incredible 14-24mm N-series wide-angle zoom and the light sensitivity range to die for I mean at ISO 200 to ISO 6400.”
Jo just nods, “Yeah right, Bella whatever you say.”
Bella hisses, “Josephine, are you even listening.”
Jo sighs, “Nope, it is Sari I’m seriously worried. She tends to get a little ditzy if away from both of us for too long. She sent me scared messages that Jim was going die because he is fat.”
Bella laughs and then sees that Jo is totally serious she asks, “Sari, thinks that why?”
“She saw a program on obesity and now Jim is on a strict diet, really strict. No meat, none.” Jo tries again to contact either of the two people she adores so much again busy signals.
Bella groans, “Jim is a carnivore, he can’t take that for too long.”
“That’s what is worrying me. Jim, is a nice guy but may crack and do something that we may regret.” Jo sighs and looks worried.
“Like what?” Bella is confused.
“Tell Sari to go away.” Jo whispers and then adds, “Last time it took us both four months to get her back again. You see Sari, will literally do what she’s told when shouted at.”
Bella looks scared and shouts, “Move this thing, we have an emergency.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jo rushes inside to find Jim snoring in bed and Sari grinning that special we made out smile she has. Jo looks confused and Sari picks up the fried chicken boxes and giggles. She heads downstairs and Jo follows her totally puzzled.
“Hiya, Jo Cat, lovely day isn’t it.” Sari sings as she throws away the cartons into the proper trash bins.
Jo shakes her head and states, “The diet, what happened to the diet?”
Sari nods, “Changed it a little.”
“How is fried chicken on the diet?” Jo asks and Sari kisses her cheek and hugs the sweet two toned female close to whisper.
Sari giggles softly, “The treat menu, my treat menu. Every time Jim has a burrito or fried chicken bucket we make out, seriously go for it I mean.”
Jo laughs out loud and kisses Sari then says, “I see you have sorted this out without me.”
Sari shakes her head, “Not really, we have the dessert treat menu to deal with. Let’s see, here we are. Four make outs all the way, one Jo’s choice and a double team is due.”
Jo blinks and looks confused, “Sari what do you mean?”
Sari nods, “Three canoles , one cream filled donut with sprinkles, a double fudge chocolate cake with cream, and cookie dough ice cream with the fried chicken party bucket Jim had. So that means he owes you four make outs all the way, one Jo’s cho….”
“I get it.” Jo slips her road clothes off and heads for the shower she smiles at Sari, “Wake Jim, time to work off the first canole.”
Jim mock screams and pounces Jo, “You will regret my new diet, Josephine, I swear you will.”
End.
Sari is very protective of Jim...okay doc files won't upload
Cruel & Unusual
Jim stares at the bowl of salad with all the venom of a child denied his favorite toys. It is the same watercress and spinach salad he has had for the last three days. It has been this way since Sari, his sweet innocent Sari, saw that program on obesity. She has refused him anything he likes to eat and has even locked the refrigerator with three steel bars. He hates this stuff and right now he is beginning to hate Sari.
All he wants are burgers, burritos and things with cheese all over them. Sari is not being evil just for the sake of it, she is just so scared of losing her Jim because it would certainly destroy her. The problem is that Jo, the sensible voice of reason has gone off to a camera equipment convention with Bella in tow for technical support. Sari right now is all fears and nerves, even love making is not easing the situation.
Jim was trying to hold off when he suddenly wanted a huge cheeseburger with onions and fries by the bucket load. That blew the mood and Sari was certain it was because he too fat. Jim tried to explain but Sari is now fully dedicated to saving Jim. Even if Jim right now doesn’t want or perhaps need saving.
The day before he had found a large pack of his favorite corn chips but was amazed to discover that Sari had replaced them rice cakes. Jim did something very unmale indeed. He burst into tears and threw a temper tantrum that would put any three year old cub to shame. The set for the new film was trashed and Jim is growing to really dislike the feelings it is bring out in him.
Jim growls in frustration and whispers like a bad movie villain, “I won’t be able to stand this for very much longer.”
He finds his phone in a back pocket and speed dials the nearest Mexican place that delivers, “Hiya, this is Jim over at Cats N Cameras can I have a delivery please. Yeah, I want…sorry what?”
He stares at the phone in total disbelief and repeats, “What do you mean, you won’t take my order.”
Sari appears from the kitchen and whispers, “I have called every fast food place that delivers for ten miles. I won’t lose, my cuddle cat, I won’t.”
She starts sobbing uncontrollably and Jim puts his phone down to hold her his hunger forgotten as he says, “Sari, princess, shhhhh!”
She is crying like a busted faucet now, “You gotta lose weight, you just gotta.”
Jim sighs, “Listen girl, I will but we are both carnivores here and you know that. I really need my meat honest, my sweet pudding.”
Sari sighs as well the tears drying quickly as they always do with his special kitten and then she asks, “But how will you lose weight then?”
Jim grins as there is an almost evil idea forming and he states, “I would like to cut a deal, a like for like deal. If I eat say one burrito or something like that I promise to do something to burn off those calories say like…er like…”
She smiles and Jim sees her nod, “We make out for one hour, not the gentle stuff I mean full on all the way stuff.”
Jim grins, “I think I may like this diet, what happens when Jo comes back.”
Sari giggles, “She will cover you for desserts.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Jo sits in the car and groans as Bella bubbles forth about the camera rigs and the tech specs like it was erotic poetry.
Bella sighs, “Look I know this has a huge 24.6 megapixel full frame sensor and a 3 inch high resolution LCD screen but we need a camera able to cope with movement. Now this baby may only have 12 megapixels but it has the 24-70mm f/2.8 N-series lenses and an incredible 14-24mm N-series wide-angle zoom and the light sensitivity range to die for I mean at ISO 200 to ISO 6400.”
Jo just nods, “Yeah right, Bella whatever you say.”
Bella hisses, “Josephine, are you even listening.”
Jo sighs, “Nope, it is Sari I’m seriously worried. She tends to get a little ditzy if away from both of us for too long. She sent me scared messages that Jim was going die because he is fat.”
Bella laughs and then sees that Jo is totally serious she asks, “Sari, thinks that why?”
“She saw a program on obesity and now Jim is on a strict diet, really strict. No meat, none.” Jo tries again to contact either of the two people she adores so much again busy signals.
Bella groans, “Jim is a carnivore, he can’t take that for too long.”
“That’s what is worrying me. Jim, is a nice guy but may crack and do something that we may regret.” Jo sighs and looks worried.
“Like what?” Bella is confused.
“Tell Sari to go away.” Jo whispers and then adds, “Last time it took us both four months to get her back again. You see Sari, will literally do what she’s told when shouted at.”
Bella looks scared and shouts, “Move this thing, we have an emergency.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jo rushes inside to find Jim snoring in bed and Sari grinning that special we made out smile she has. Jo looks confused and Sari picks up the fried chicken boxes and giggles. She heads downstairs and Jo follows her totally puzzled.
“Hiya, Jo Cat, lovely day isn’t it.” Sari sings as she throws away the cartons into the proper trash bins.
Jo shakes her head and states, “The diet, what happened to the diet?”
Sari nods, “Changed it a little.”
“How is fried chicken on the diet?” Jo asks and Sari kisses her cheek and hugs the sweet two toned female close to whisper.
Sari giggles softly, “The treat menu, my treat menu. Every time Jim has a burrito or fried chicken bucket we make out, seriously go for it I mean.”
Jo laughs out loud and kisses Sari then says, “I see you have sorted this out without me.”
Sari shakes her head, “Not really, we have the dessert treat menu to deal with. Let’s see, here we are. Four make outs all the way, one Jo’s choice and a double team is due.”
Jo blinks and looks confused, “Sari what do you mean?”
Sari nods, “Three canoles , one cream filled donut with sprinkles, a double fudge chocolate cake with cream, and cookie dough ice cream with the fried chicken party bucket Jim had. So that means he owes you four make outs all the way, one Jo’s cho….”
“I get it.” Jo slips her road clothes off and heads for the shower she smiles at Sari, “Wake Jim, time to work off the first canole.”
Jim mock screams and pounces Jo, “You will regret my new diet, Josephine, I swear you will.”
End.