Talking to Girls
I just got done watching Crazy Stupid Love with my wife. It was a pretty good movie and we both enjoyed it, but that’s not what this post is about. It’s about talking to girls.
In the movie there is this character that is one of those smooth talking guys that can easily talk to women. He could talk to any women in a room and end up with her in his bed. Amazing. I know that he’s only a character in a movie but I do know there are people out there that can do this. They are able to talk to the opposite sex with such ease and confidence that it boggles the mind. I was never the type to find it easy to talk to girls. I do remember some words that a friend of mine gave me when it comes to talking to women. He said “On a 1 to 10 scale, if you think you’re a 3, you’ll only ever get a 3.”
My wife always finds it strange that guys have such a hard time talking to women. She said that it’s all about confidence. If you walk up and are all wishy washy, you’ll never get what you want. But if you talk with total confidence, then you’ll stand a good chance at getting that lady you had your eye on.
Any smooth talkers out there with the opposite sex?
Play Asia
March 11th, 2012 at 8:11 am
Smooth talker, no. Indiscriminate talker, yes. I had a strange approach to women. Which is to say, I had none. I was not ‘confident’ in my conversations with women, but neither did I find it hard to talk with them. I just treated them as I treated my guy colleagues–I talked with them as thought they are human, with no intent on “getting some”thing from them. I think that was the key to my earlier success, which was entirely based on them asking me out.
However, my later success was based on a combination of that and an epiphany that I had in a class one day. It was a language class, and I was paired for an exercise with the most gorgeous girl in my grade. She had a reputation as being a bit of a prude, but she was incredibly smart and drop dead (holy heck was she) sexy. Anyway, we were talking in the appropriate ill-gotten-languae when she said something that I didn’t understand. I had asked her (in language X) how her last date had gone (which was in the assignment), and her response was “none.” This nonsensical response prompted me to ask once more. Again, she said “none.” At which point I recognized that we both were beginning to learn this language, and she had no knowledge of how to say “I have never had a date.” I then asked her (in English) “YOU have never had a date?!,” to which she said “no, I have never even been asked out.” Without hesitation I said something like, “well, you know what they say about guys and asking girls out on dates…,” “no, what?” she said. “…that they are too afraid to ask the beautiful ones out.” Never before have I seen a girl blush that shade (I’m still trying to elicit it in my wife). I hadn’t intended to flirt with this girl. I was merely trying to raise her confidence for not having been asked out (I had read an article about beautiful girls and their lack of date-requests). However, I had managed to compliment her in such a way as to get her to want me. This was the first time that I actually asked a girl out. Partially out of sympathy, but mostly (almost entirely) because she was ungodly gorgeous/smart. We became the “how did he get her” couple of the school. It was pretty fun for a while. Didn’t end up working out in the end (my fault), but I can say that I was her first in several ways (she was definitely not a prude, not bragging).
I guess this is the point of the story: I learned by accident that girls like this sort of attention–give it to them, and they will appreciate it.
Advice to those who may find it useful: Don’t be afraid of women! Yes, you might strike out, but the experience and successes that you’ll have will more than make up for it. Also, even the ones that say “no” will remember you fondly (as long as you aren’t too creepy)–you paid them a compliment.
P.S. Anyone see D.N.A.^2 (anime)…? It’s campy and old, but it gets at the point–confidence is what counts.
March 11th, 2012 at 6:50 pm
I my head I’m a smooth talker. But in real life, if I see a beautiful woman, somehow, in the time its taken me to approach her, I’ve stubbed my toe, fallen in a mud puddle and bitten my tongue. All she sees then is a limping, filthy, garbling thing with blood coming out of its mouth. Then out comes the mace.
Seriously though, talking to women you’re trying to impress is more stressful than disarming a bomb. One wrong word or phrase and she thinks you’re a perv or mentally disabled. God knows I’ve had plenty of experience.
P.S. It doesn’t hurt to have a lot of money.
March 13th, 2012 at 12:25 am
I find it difficult to talk to any new people, not just women. I tend to gravitate to people who have the same likes as I do so we have conversation topics. But most of the time when I’m out with friends and meet someone, I tend to keep quiet and try not to make a fool of myself.